VDotSecret
Happiness & Sex Trauma Recovery Coach
Be Victorious Over Rape Trauma Syndrome Together!
Providing coaching, community support, and resources to avert anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation in adult survivors of childhood abuse and sexual assault, to successfully work through the stages of Rape Trauma Syndrome and cultivate a happy, purposeful, successful life!
Victorious Trainings Happiness Coaching
There are moments in life when anxiety becomes louder than your confidence.
When depression steals your motivation.
When trauma changes the way you see yourself, your relationships, and your future.
Victorious Trainings Happiness Coaching was created to help individuals reconnect with their happiness, rebuild emotional strength, and create a healthier relationship with themselves through guided emotional healing, spiritual growth, and intentional life transformation.
This is not surface-level motivation.
This is a guided journey toward emotional freedom, self-worth, peace of mind, and purpose fulfillment.
Victorious Trainings provides trauma-informed happiness coaching designed to help individuals understand the emotional impact of painful experiences while learning realistic ways to cultivate happiness again.
Through guided coaching sessions, workbook activities, self-reflection exercises, and supportive discussions, clients begin identifying the emotional patterns, fears, and behaviors that may be blocking their happiness.
Our approach focuses on:
Emotional awareness
Self-love and self-worth
Happiness mindset transformation
Spiritual growth and emotional healing
Confidence rebuilding
Purpose and identity restoration
Healing is not about pretending pain never happened.
Healing is learning how to create joy again despite what happened.
Victorious Trainings helps clients move from emotional survival into emotional balance by creating healthier thought patterns, daily happiness habits, and intentional self-care practices that support long-term emotional wellness.
Through personalized happiness coaching, clients learn how to:
Create realistic happiness goals
Develop healthier emotional responses
Release self-sabotaging behaviors
Improve confidence and emotional stability
Reconnect with peace, joy, and personal power
Sexual trauma can affect confidence, emotional safety, trust, relationships, self-esteem, and the ability to feel emotionally secure.
Victorious Trainings offers supportive coaching and guided recovery resources designed to help individuals process emotional pain while rebuilding a healthier relationship with themselves.
Programs such as:
Sexual Healing Part 1 & 2
Happiness Exposed Coaching
Fine-Tune Your Vibrational Frequency
were created to encourage emotional healing, self-awareness, self-love, and happiness restoration after painful life experiences.
Clients are supported through:
Guided emotional processing
Confidence rebuilding
Self-worth development
Emotional regulation practices
Healing-centered happiness coaching
Constant stress, emotional overwhelm, anxiety, and depression can make happiness feel impossible to reach.
Victorious Trainings Happiness Coaching helps clients identify the habits, thoughts, emotional triggers, and environmental patterns contributing to emotional imbalance while creating healthier ways to cope, heal, and move forward.
Clients learn tools that help support:
Emotional clarity
Stress reduction
Mental wellness routines
Mindset improvement
Daily happiness practices
Emotional grounding and self-awareness
Caretakers often carry emotional pain while still trying to care for everyone else.
Victorious Trainings creates a supportive space for caretakers seeking emotional healing, spiritual growth, confidence rebuilding, and personal transformation.
This coaching experience combines:
Happiness education
Spiritual self-reflection
Guided healing exercises
Meditation and emotional awareness practices
Goal-setting and mindset support
to help caretakers reconnect with their voice, vision, confidence, and inner peace.
Your happiness is shaped by what you repeatedly think, accept, tolerate, and believe about yourself.
Victorious Trainings helps clients transform negative emotional patterns into healthier thought processes that support peace, confidence, joy, and self-empowerment.
Happiness mindset transformation focuses on:
Rebuilding self-esteem
Developing healthier emotional habits
Creating intentional happiness routines
Letting go of limiting beliefs
Building a lifestyle centered around emotional wellness and purpose
VICTORIOUS TRAININGS IS A VIRTUAL SANCTUARY FOR SURVIVORS TO LEARN TO THRIVE!
Let's Be Victorious! Together!
Victorious Trainings was meant to provide a beam of light and hope in your dark hour to guide you to the bright, bold, happy light of victory at the end of the tunnel! Don't you dare give up, and don't you ever feel ashamed of what you need to heal from. You are here to overcome and reign in peace on the throne of your mind, even in the healing process!
When a person experiences rape or sexual assault, their mind and body respond to what is happening.
The assault is the action. The response is the reaction.
The nervous system responds to the unwanted sexual experience through the body's natural protective processes.
These responses involve physical sensations, emotions, thoughts, awareness, movements, and behaviors.
Some responses happen automatically, before the survivor has time to understand what is happening or consciously decide what to do.
Every survivor responds, but every survivor does not respond in the same way.
The body may respond through movement, stillness, heightened awareness, or changes in physical sensation.
The mind may respond through thoughts, emotions, confusion, or changes in awareness.
Even the way a survivor remembers, understands, or reports what happened can reflect how their mind processed the experience.
There is no single way a survivor is supposed to react, remember, or explain what happened.
Whatever your response was, it was your response to what was happening to you.
You are not responsible for the actions of the person who violated you.
You are not to blame because of how your body responded.
You are not to blame because of what you thought or felt.
You are not to blame because of what you did or couldn't do.
You do not have to question your worth, your strength, or your character because your response was different from what you imagined it should have been.
Your survival was more important than responding in a way that other people expected or understood.
And here, at Victorious Trainings, your survival is more important than anyone's judgment of how you survived.
We are here to support you.
We are here to provide knowledge, understanding, encouragement, and opportunities to develop self-love and emotional self-regulation.
You do not have to describe the details of your assault to begin learning.
You do not have to prove the seriousness of your experiences.
You do not have to relive painful memories to deserve understanding.
The founder of Victorious Trainings has sat in about 21 years of church services claiming to provide deliverance and healing, but has seen the same people turn away with lost faith and burned-out hope because the church and counselors haven't been able to overcome, or haven't experienced, sexual assault in a way that would provide authority or even expertise in the specific healing process.
She grew up asking questions like How do you heal? How do I know what the Will of God is for my life? How can I forgive if I don't want to? And what does forgiveness mean if the pain is still there?
VDotSecret has sought and found those answers, not just hidden in books required for ordination, certifications, or licensing, or told from a pulpit, but she's lived them, felt the difference healing makes, felt the need to want to forgive, and has truly found the inner power in moving on and upward in a life unrestricted by the evil plans of anyone who has harmed her.
She wants you to understand exactly who you are, why you were attacked, and what power you have to fight back, not just in the legal system, but in your mind and spirit!
We Don't Trauma Bond, We Become Victorious Together!
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I found myself feeling like an outsider, or the problem in the family, because I held my feelings of abandonment, betrayal, disloyalty, and anger towards people I thought should protect me. In my healing journey, I found I could not truly experience healing without the proper support system, and it could not include those who I needed to heal from!
I created Victorious Trainings to provide a community of resilience, empowerment, and support to help each person dedicated to completing the Path of Victory in their life!
Every connection made in Victorious Trainings is purposeful, virtual, confidential, and platonic, which makes it safe to share your healing journey and homework progress without the fear of embarrassment, causing drama, or bringing "shame" on anyone.
Victorious Trainings Communities are here for you to gain encouragement, inspiration, and motivation through the progress of each other's testimony; no identity, no police report, or evidence required.
Victorious Trainings provides support for anyone experiencing Rape Trauma Syndrome symptoms with trauma-informed information, to ensure you that your feelings, emotions, and the variety of mental states you are going through are not abnormal for your experience, and to provide the "been there, let me help you through that" approach to ensure you that there is a way to create the happy life you desire, and show you the way to make it possible for you!
There's no set time or order a survivor will experience the stages or even if you will experience them seperately! The important things is to recognize how they are manifesting in your life so that become aware of how you can improve your current situation by showing yourself love through patience and care.
Healing from Rape Trauma Syndrome means you get to be free of the negative effects and symptoms of the trauma and be able to live your life without the negative influence over you. That's what we are here to support you in doing.
Not just get beyond the symptoms, but beyond the limiting beliefs, the fears of enjoying life, sex, and even giving you the permission to be the REAL, HEALED, PURPOSEFUL YOU—that's True Victory!
This is not an overnight process; many of our programs are a minimum of 30 days, and some take one (1) year of dedication, with the expectation of repeating processes to continue the healing journey!
Healing, wholeness, completeness, and peace come in layers, and happiness comes as you fulfill every layer that exposes the brand-new, resilient you!
Remember, it takes 36-42 weeks to properly form a perfectly unharmed, whole human being baby, so please be patient with yourself in this healing and new birth process taking place within you, as you read and begin to say, yes, it's time I'm ready to get rid of this pain NOW!
Please be patient and diligent, because when healing starts, it never stops, and as you grow, you find more ways to heal and evolve!
"It had been many years of seeking clarity to even realize that Rape Trauma Syndrome was a thing. Thinking back on all my traditional therapy sessions, it had never been discussed, let alone addressed, even though the term was created in the '70's. As I reviewed the diagnosis, I felt the cloud of confusion lift from my head... I finally found what I was experiencing, but it was not understood."
Victorious Trainings is not here to waste your time. We are here to address the root of these symptoms to help you walk in clarity so you can find your way back to yourself!
The stages of Rape Trauma Syndrome help explain how a survivor's experiences may affect their mind, body, emotions, behaviors, and personal relationships over time.
These stages are not a test.
They are not a measurement of anyone's worth, strength, or ability to heal.
They describe experiences that may occur at different times, sometimes overlapping or returning after a person believed those difficulties were behind them.
A survivor does not have to experience every stage or follow one particular order.
The purpose of understanding them is to gain knowledge about the effects of sexual assault and recognize how those experiences may be influencing life today.
The Acute Stage describes emotional, physical, and psychological responses associated with the assault and its immediate aftermath.
A survivor may experience anxiety, shock, anger, fear, confusion, emotional numbness, changes in awareness, difficulty concentrating, or problems sleeping.
The body has already responded during the assault. The Acute Stage describes responses that may continue or become more noticeable afterward.
One survivor may openly express distress.
Another may appear calm.
Another may have difficulty explaining what they are experiencing.
Whatever the response, the survivor is not to blame for the assault.
The person responsible for the violation is the person who committed it.
Understanding this stage means recognizing that the way the mind and body respond to sexual assault is not a reflection of someone's worth or character.
And when those responses become overwhelming, receiving support is part of protecting the life that matters most—your own.
During Outward Adjustment, the survivor may begin returning to everyday activities and responsibilities.
They may return to work, continue their education, care for their children, establish relationships, and continue pursuing personal goals.
From the outside, their life may appear to be moving forward.
But within themselves, they may still be struggling with anxiety, fear, anger, distrust, emotional distress, or changes in their sense of personal power.
They may avoid discussing the assault.
They may try to minimize its influence.
They may spend time trying to understand why it happened.
Or they may change their surroundings, routines, or relationships.
Some survivors may also develop harmful coping behaviors involving alcohol, drugs, self-harm, or sexual activity that places them at further risk.
Moving forward in life and understanding the effects of what happened are not always the same thing.
A person can continue accomplishing their goals while privately struggling with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors they have not learned how to address.
During the Underground Stage, a survivor may continue living as though the assault is part of the past.
They may rarely discuss what happened.
They may have learned how to avoid certain thoughts, conversations, or feelings.
They may be professionally successful, financially secure, socially respected, or admired for their accomplishments.
Yet privately, they may continue struggling with depression, anxiety, distrust, concentration difficulties, emotional disconnection, or questions about their personal identity.
For someone who experienced repeated childhood sexual abuse or grooming, certain patterns may have developed so early that they seem like a natural part of their personality.
They may not recognize how those experiences influenced their beliefs about affection, relationships, sexuality, boundaries, or personal worth.
The child becomes an adult, but the beliefs and behaviors developed during childhood may continue influencing their life.
Someone can create a beautiful public life while privately struggling with the things they've never understood about themselves.
And there may come a time when success alone no longer feels like enough.
They want to experience the happiness, love, peace, and personal fulfillment that they've worked so hard to achieve.
During Reorganization, thoughts, feelings, or behaviors connected to the assault may become noticeable again.
A change in life, a relationship, a personal experience, or an emotional response may bring something into greater awareness that the survivor believed was already behind them.
They may question why certain feelings have returned.
Why relationships still create difficulties.
Why their emotional responses sometimes seem stronger than the situation requires.
Or why they continue making choices that don't reflect the person they want to become.
Experiencing these responses again does not mean you have failed.
During Reorganization, you may begin recognizing how the experiences you've survived have influenced your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and personal identity.
This is part of what I call "improvement work" in The Well-Manicured Life.
Through Personal Discovery and Personal Identification, you begin understanding who you are beneath the experiences you've survived and the patterns that developed throughout your life.
This is part of transmuting the energy of pain into personal power—learning how to change the influence the violator(s) have continued to hold over your life and reclaim your sexual, spiritual, and personal identity and power.
Your experiences are part of your history, but they do not have to determine the person you choose to become.
Renormalization describes a period when the survivor can begin experiencing life without the assault remaining the central influence over their everyday thoughts, feelings, and decisions.
The experience is not erased.
There is no requirement to pretend it never happened.
Instead, the survivor may become better able to understand their experiences, address harmful coping behaviors, establish healthier boundaries, and make choices that reflect their personal values.
They may rediscover interests, relationships, and opportunities that bring happiness and meaning into their lives.
They may begin recognizing the difference between the person they became while trying to survive and the person they choose to become now.
This is part of living The Well-Manicured Life.
A life that acknowledges experience without allowing the weight of the past to determine every choice about the future.
A life where knowledge becomes part of personal power.
Where self-love becomes part of daily living.
Where Personal Discovery and Personal Identification help the individual understand their purpose.
And where the Victorious Trainee can continue pursuing The Well-Manicured Life of peace, happiness, love, and success, designed by the Victorious Trainee.
Did you know
I've been there, I know it's not the answer! I'm celebrating 20 years free of suicide ideation, and I want to share the hope to others!
I have a goal to save 50,000 minds from mental anguish that causes suicide. Would you like to help? Great! Do you or someone you know and love struggle with depression, anxiety, and/or suicidal ideation? Would you like to help them? Perfect! Download the Life Affirmation Kit and practice self-love and self-care exercises inside! You can find local resources in your state and learn breathing, grounding, and meditation techniques to help calm yourself and your loved ones when times get hard and mental health emergencies arise. Yes, there's a course and a book, but just start for free right here right now! Together, we can take small steps of love and care to defeat depression and bad thoughts that lead to suicide.
THE STAGES OF RAPE TRAUMA SYNDROME
The stages of Rape Trauma Syndrome help explain how a survivor's experiences may affect their mind, body, emotions, behaviors, and personal relationships over time.
Rape Trauma Syndrome, or RTS, describes the physical, emotional, psychological, and behavioral responses associated with rape and sexual assault.
The experience produces a response. What differs is how each survivor responds, how those responses change, and whether trauma-related difficulties continue afterward.
Some responses are recognized immediately. Others become more understandable with knowledge, time, and reflection.
The experience of sexual assault may end, but its influence on the survivor's emotional responses, relationships, sexuality, spirituality, personal identity, and everyday decisions may continue.
This is especially important when abuse began during childhood, when a person may not have had the knowledge, protection, or understanding needed to recognize what was happening.
The child grows older.
The experiences become part of their history.
And sometimes the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors developed during those experiences continue influencing the person's life.
You can survive an experience without fully understanding how it has influenced you.
Understanding Rape Trauma Syndrome provides knowledge about those responses and the different ways they may appear throughout a survivor's life.
When sexual abuse continues over several years, especially during childhood, the experience can influence how the person learns to understand affection, attention, trust, sexuality, secrecy, authority, and personal worth.
A child may be taught:
To keep secrets: As an adult, they may ruin relationships with affairs or ruin business partnerships with lies and backroom deals, or keep secrets of detrimental harm to the ones they love.
To satisfy someone else's desires: As an adult, they may ignore their essential needs for the fickle desires of others, including things which should be a priority, like children, job, family, obligations.
To accept unwanted attention: As adults, they don't understand or respect boundaries, rules, privacy, and often feel others should experience the hurt they felt. These people don't like to be touched, aren't affectionate, and often like to fight; they are aggressive and like to make sure someone else is hurt when they are hurting.
To believe that their needs are less important than those of the people around them: As adults, they don't take care of themselves, don't pursue higher education, and take care of others because they feel it brings them some worth, company, or a way to feel important to a group.
Or to remain silent because they fear what will happen if they speak: As an adult, they often As an adult, they may be subject to keeping quiet about workplace harassment, may be conditioned to being exploited and not know how to stand up for themselves, and may be more willing to participate in gangs, extramarital affairs, or organized crime by living up to "bad" expectations.
None of this makes the child responsible for the abuse. It's just the adult's responsibility to heal the inner child that is still traumatized and stuck on the throne of your mind!
The responsibility belongs to the person who violated them and to those responsible for protecting them who failed to do so.
But the beliefs and behaviors learned during those experiences may continue into adulthood.
And when the person has never had the opportunity to understand those influences, they may struggle to recognize why certain patterns continue appearing in their life.
Find Out More About Grooming By Clicking Through the Slides Below.
A person who experienced grooming throughout childhood may have learned to understand affection, obedience, loyalty, secrecy, and sexuality through someone else's manipulation.
They may struggle to identify what they genuinely want in a relationship.
They may have difficulty recognizing unhealthy attention.
They may become accustomed to pleasing others while neglecting their own needs.
They may remain in relationships that compromise their personal values, happiness, or safety.
They may experience confusion about their sexuality, spirituality, or personal identity.
And they may continue making choices that reflect the expectations of people who influenced or violated them rather than the life they truly desire.
This is why Personal Discovery and Personal Identification are important.
There is a difference between who you are and the behaviors you developed while trying to survive.
Understanding that difference can become part of reclaiming personal power.
The consequences of childhood sexual trauma deserve to be discussed honestly.
The consequences of childhood sexual trauma deserve to be discussed honestly.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Anger.
Insecurities.
Low self-esteem.
Suicidal ideation and suicide attempts.
Alcohol addiction.
Drug addiction.
Compulsive sexual behaviors.
Unhealthy relationships.
Difficulty trusting others.
Problems establishing boundaries.
Self-sabotaging decisions.
And feelings of powerlessness that continue even when a person has accomplished a great deal.
The absence of familial protection and guidance can make childhood even more difficult.
When abuse is accompanied by neglect, poverty, family instability, exploitation, or harmful influences, the person may become more vulnerable to abusive relationships and dangerous environments.
Some lives may become affected by sexual exploitation, trafficking, prostitution, drug dealing, gang affiliation, violence, or other serious circumstances.
These outcomes are not automatic consequences of sexual abuse. Different personal, family, social, and environmental factors contribute to them, and they are not all symptoms of RTS.
But they are realities that deserve to be examined without pretending that childhood experiences cannot influence adult behavior.
Understanding the effects of trauma does not mean excusing behavior that harms other people.
Personal responsibility is an important part of improvement work.
Someone who has developed harmful behaviors must recognize their responsibility for changing them.
And someone who has survived abuse should not be treated as though they are destined to become abusive, exploitative, addicted, or involved in criminal behavior.
A survivor's past does not establish their moral character or determine their future.
Being involved in consensual adult sex work is also distinct from experiencing sexual trafficking or coercion. The importance of understanding grooming is recognizing when someone's freedom to make their own choices has been compromised.
One of the reasons this knowledge is important is that financial and professional success cannot tell us everything about a person's emotional well-being.
Someone may have a beautiful home, an impressive career, a successful business, a respected position in the community, and a lifestyle that others admire.
Yet privately, that person may be struggling with depression, addiction, unhealthy relationships, anger, sexual difficulties, or decisions that threaten everything they've worked so hard to create.
They may feel embarrassed to ask for help.
They may be afraid of being judged.
They may fear that admitting their struggles will damage their reputation or expose personal experiences they have spent years protecting.
But having private struggles does not erase your accomplishments.
And recognizing the things you want to change does not diminish your worth.
Knowledge can help us understand why some patterns developed and what we can begin doing differently.
That is why I teach:
Sometimes the difficulties we refuse to acknowledge privately begin creating consequences in the lives we've worked so hard to establish.
Unaddressed addiction may damage a career.
Unhealthy sexual behaviors may damage a marriage or relationship.
Anger may damage the trust of people we love.
Poor personal boundaries may expose us to continued exploitation.
Self-sabotaging decisions may interfere with financial security, professional opportunities, or personal happiness.
And when these struggles remain hidden until the consequences become public, the damage may affect families, businesses, reputations, and entire communities.
But the public consequence is not always where the problem began.
Sometimes it began years earlier.
With experiences a person never understood.
With beliefs they developed in childhood.
With harmful behaviors that became familiar.
With struggles they were afraid to discuss.
Or with emotional pain they spent years trying to hide beneath their accomplishments.
This is why I believe in learning to address private struggles before they create additional problems.
Secret healing does not mean concealing harm or avoiding responsibility.
It means having the opportunity to understand what is happening within your life, recognize the choices that need to change, and begin doing the improvement work.
It means learning to take responsibility for your present decisions without accepting responsibility for the abuse someone else committed against you.
It means choosing self-love over self-hate.
Knowledge over ignorance.
Personal Discovery over continuing to live according to someone else's expectations.
And personal power over continuing to be controlled by the influence of the violator(s).
You should not have to expose your entire personal life to the world to begin working toward a happier one.
And you should not have to wait for a public consequence before recognizing the importance of your private healing.
We value, honor, respect, and empathize with your journey with us; we cherish your membership and celebrate your achievements, growth, healing, and successful victory over every obstacle and challenge you face on your healing journey with us! We respect your right to privacy, to maintain your dignity, and to confidentiality. Unlike the legal system, we don't focus on the prosecutor or the police report. We are here to support your healing, and we take proper due diligence to ensure you are able to maintain your confidentiality in this virtual healing sanctuary. The work you do here does not have to be discussed with others, but you can discuss your outcomes and progress, as you will see how communication becomes easier with healing!
We hear it all the time: "Communication is Key!"
The single major thing that childhood abuse does that negatively affects the entire life of the child is to limit and destroy the ability to confidently and freely communicate. This is why there are 36 consultation sessions in Sexual Healing alone, because everyone needs to strategically release what they've been holding on to and practice speaking in the language of a healed version of themselves, instead of using the old victim mindset!
Victorious Trainings is the place to let it all out, so you can get it together, take back the power, and win the Victory In the Battle Over the Throne of Your Mind!
Every module of every course teaches a short and powerful lesson that opens your mind up to the healthy activation of healing within the soul, to the mind, and body!
Life Affirmation Kit & Course
HOYO — Heal On Your Own — is about developing the ability to recognize your emotional responses and practice self-regulation.
"Take off the depression goggles"
There are times when depression, painful experiences, negative thoughts, and emotional struggles influence the way we see our lives.
30 Days of Gratitude Mental Detox
Fine-Tune Your Frequency is an opportunity to explore gratitude, spiritual development, personal reflection, and the way our thoughts and decisions influence the lives we create.
Skin Health, Beauty, and Self-Care
Victorious Esthetics brings the care of the skin into our Sanctuary of Healing & Beauty for Mind, Body and Soul.
Personal Discovery and Personal Identification
Spiritual Manicure is rooted in my book, The Well-Manicured Life.
Reclaiming Sexual, Spiritual, and Personal Identity and Power
Sexual Healing provides an opportunity for adult survivors of sexual trauma to explore how their experiences may have influenced their sexuality, spirituality, self-worth, and personal identity.
When a Victorious Trainee discovers a desire to pursue entrepreneurship, Victorious Entrepreneurial Trainings provides opportunities to gain the knowledge and skills needed to develop a business.
Victorious Authors' Academy provides opportunities for Victorious Trainees who want to develop their writing, share knowledge, publish books, or create meaningful written work.
HOYO — Heal On Your Own — is about developing the ability to recognize your emotional responses and practice self-regulation.
There may be times when anxiety becomes overwhelming, when depression interferes with everyday activities, or when thoughts and emotions become difficult to manage.
Through the HOYO Downloads, Victorious Trainees can learn meditation, affirmations, self-love, mind-calming practices, and anxiety-soothing coping mechanisms.
These are skills you can practice and develop throughout everyday life.
HOYO — Heal On Your Own Downloands does not mean you must face every struggle alone, it gives you the stregnth to! Each hyperlink will guide you to inspiration, motivations, practice, or exercise that will make your mental health moments encouraging so you can get you back to a positive state of mind!
It means learning practices you can use independently while also understanding the importance of receiving additional support when you need it.
The Life Affirmation Kit is intended to provide education and self-care practices. It is not a replacement for professional treatment or emergency care during a crisis.
Self-love is something we practice.
And learning to care for ourselves is an important part of living The Well-Manicured Life.
There are times when depression, painful experiences, negative thoughts, and emotional struggles influence the way we see our lives.
We may have achieved things we once dreamed about while finding it difficult to enjoy them.
We may focus so much on what has gone wrong that we struggle to recognize the good things happening around us.
Happiness Exposed is designed to provide a support system that understands the struggle and is actively cultivating authentic happiness.
Through personal reflection, encouragement, gratitude, self-love, and happiness practices, Victorious Trainees begin considering what happiness means in their own lives.
Because our purpose is not simply to look successful.
It is to experience the peace, love, happiness, and fulfillment that make success meaningful.
"Happiness is just a CHOICE away!"
This is a teaching about practicing intentional choices in everyday life, not a judgment against anyone experiencing clinical depression.
Fine-Tune Your Frequency is an opportunity to explore gratitude, spiritual development, personal reflection, and the way our thoughts and decisions influence the lives we create.
Through 30 Days of Gratitude Mental Detox, Victorious Trainees practice gratitude and explore their understanding of the Universe, Universal Laws, and personal purpose.
This is part of learning how to:
"Step into the throne of your mind and the power of your Spirit."
It involves learning how to become more intentional about the thoughts we entertain, the choices we make, and the purposes we choose to pursue.
Your experiences of abuse were not something you deserved or attracted. These teachings concern the choices and meaning you develop in the present.
Victorious Esthetics brings the care of the skin into our Sanctuary of Healing & Beauty for Mind, Body and Soul.
Through personalized skin-care consultations, original natural formulations, and Victorious Beauty Clubs, trainees can learn how to care for their skin while making self-care part of everyday life.
The skin and mind are connected. Emotional distress can aggravate certain skin conditions, and struggling with problematic skin can also affect confidence and emotional well-being.
Caring for the skin cannot replace caring for the mind, and caring for the mind does not eliminate the need for appropriate skin treatment. At Victorious Esthetics, both deserve attention.
"Healthy Skin Is Sexy Skin" expresses my belief that skin health, comfort, and confidence deserve appreciation—not that beauty requires perfect skin.
The full history of how this philosophy developed, beginning with my own acne and eczema and the creation of Beauty From Ashes Esthetics, is part of the reason I created Victorious Trainings.
Spiritual Manicure is rooted in my book, The Well-Manicured Life.
Just as we care for our physical hands, I believe our spiritual hands deserve attention.
Life experiences can influence the way we think, feel, behave, understand ourselves, and interact with others.
And just as a manicure involves a process of caring for and maintaining our hands, Spiritual Manicure uses that process to teach self-love, personal discovery, and improvement work.
Through teachings such as Sanitize, Soak, Scrub, Push Back Cuticles, and the remaining steps of the Spiritual Manicure, Victorious Trainees learn to examine the influences, beliefs, habits, and experiences that may be interfering with their ability to fulfill their purpose.
Personal Discovery and Personal Identification are important parts of this work.
Who are you beneath everything you've experienced?
What do you believe about yourself?
Which beliefs came from other people's expectations?
What are your personal values?
What do you genuinely want from your life?
And what will it take to begin living according to the purpose you identify?
Spiritual Manicure is not simply about improving outward appearances.
It is about learning how to live The Well-Manicured Life.
Sexual Healing provides an opportunity for adult survivors of sexual trauma to explore how their experiences may have influenced their sexuality, spirituality, self-worth, and personal identity.
Childhood sexual abuse and grooming can interfere with the development of personal boundaries and a healthy understanding of relationships, sexuality, and choice.
Someone may grow older without recognizing which beliefs belong to them and which were influenced by the people who violated or manipulated them.
Through Sexual Healing, Victorious Trainees can begin exploring self-love, sexual identity, personal boundaries, spirituality, and empowerment without judgment.
Your sexuality belongs to you. Your spirituality belongs to you. Your personal identity and power belong to you.
The violator(s) do not deserve continued control over these parts of your life.
When a Victorious Trainee discovers a desire to pursue entrepreneurship, Victorious Entrepreneurial Trainings provides opportunities to gain the knowledge and skills needed to develop a business.
This Training is part of helping people identify their purpose and take practical steps toward the lives they choose.
A business may become one of the Bridge Planks used to pursue that purpose.
Victorious Authors' Academy provides opportunities for Victorious Trainees who want to develop their writing, share knowledge, publish books, or create meaningful written work.
Your story and your knowledge belong to you.
You decide what to share, what remains private, and how writing may become part of fulfilling your purpose.
Every specialized course and product belongs under the umbrella of Victorious Trainings.
And every Victorious Trainee can choose which Trainings are appropriate for the life they want to create.
WHY I CREATED VICTORIOUS TRAININGS
My name is Victoria L. Colzie.
I am the founder of Victorious Esthetics, an Esthetic Engineer, and a skincare alchemist based on esthetics science and herbology.
My name is Victoria L. Colzie.
I am the founder of Victorious Esthetics, an Esthetic Engineer, and a skincare alchemist based on esthetics science and herbology.
My skin-care journey began with my own struggles with acne and eczema.
I searched the shelves for products that could help improve my skin. I worked for numerous skin-care companies, gaining experience and knowledge about the products and services being offered throughout the industry.
I sold over $100,000 in skin-care products and services, but I still couldn't find the answer for my own skin.
I knew what was being sold. I knew what I had tried. And I knew I needed to understand why my skin wasn't responding the way I wanted.
In pursuit of finding help to reduce my acne and eczema, I learned that the best approach to my skin was the natural way.
I began using esthetics science and herbology to develop the skin-care formulations I couldn't find on the shelves.
That work became Beauty From Ashes Esthetics.
Beauty From Ashes began as a solution for acne and oily skin.
But I didn't want to create another product line that expected everyone with problematic skin to use the same products.
I wanted to understand the individual skin I was working with.
The skin type.
The condition.
The sensitivities.
The ingredients.
And what would help me formulate products around that person's skin-care needs.
My original Beauty From Ashes brochure described a business dedicated to all-natural, custom-made skin care for all skin types, with an ingredient selection process designed around individual concerns.
As my knowledge expanded, so did my formulations.
Today, I have created over 30 different original formulas for problematic skin conditions.
My work includes skin-care concerns such as acne, eczema, sensitivity, dryness, pigmentation, and other conditions that affect the appearance and comfort of the skin.
Many of these conditions are also treated with medications, and some medications have side effects. I wanted to develop an individualized natural approach to cosmetic skin care, while recognizing that natural ingredients can also cause reactions and that certain skin diseases require medical treatment.
I wanted more than products that made the skin appear beautiful for a moment. I wanted to understand how to nourish the skin and maintain balance for optimal skin health.
That is where "Feed Your Skin to Its Optimal Health" belongs in my philosophy.
It explains the purpose behind my formulations, my ingredient selections, and the individual attention I give to skin health.
During my medical assistant training, I learned about the nervous system.
Through my esthetics education, I continued learning about the integumentary system and how the skin functions.
As I worked with clients experiencing problematic skin conditions, I began recognizing that their struggles were not always limited to their skin.
Many were also struggling with anxiety, depression, insecurities, low self-esteem, and emotional distress.
Some were carrying childhood experiences involving physical, mental, or sexual abuse.
Some were experiencing emotional distress because of their skin conditions. Others were experiencing skin concerns alongside emotional difficulties that had begun much earlier in life.
I wanted to understand the connection.
The nervous system communicates with the skin through processes involving nerves, hormones, and immune responses. Stress can influence skin inflammation and barrier function, and the discomfort of problematic skin can increase emotional distress.
This is the understanding behind my philosophy: "Healthy Mind, Healthy Skin."
I believe "The healthier the mind, the healthier the skin."
And for the troubled mind, as I recognized the connection between emotional distress and problematic skin, my observation became:
"The Clearer the Mind, the Clearer the Skin!"
These are connected teachings, but they are not interchangeable.
One expresses my understanding of the relationship between mental and skin health.
Another communicates what I recognized while working with people who were struggling emotionally and experiencing problematic skin.
Neither means that every skin condition is caused by trauma or that improving emotional health automatically cures a skin disease.
But the relationship between the mind and the skin deserves attention when we are working toward optimal health.
I was no longer looking only at the surface of the skin.
I was recognizing the importance of caring for the person living within it.
My work in beauty and personal development also led me to write The Well-Manicured Life, published in 2014 under my name VDotSecret.
I used my professional knowledge of manicuring to explain the importance of maintaining our spiritual hands as carefully as we maintain our physical hands.
Throughout life, our hands touch, hold, build, protect, and sometimes bear the effects of everything we've experienced.
And just as our physical hands require care, I believe our spiritual hands require care as well.
A professional manicure can improve the appearance of our hands, but it cannot remove the effects of painful experiences, unhealthy beliefs, self-hate, or the things we have never understood about ourselves.
That requires improvement work.
In The Well-Manicured Life, I taught self-love, forgiveness, personal discovery, examining our beliefs, understanding our thoughts and decisions, and learning how to pursue our purpose.
I developed Spiritual Manicure as a process of caring for ourselves from the inside out.
Because true beauty is not simply about what we see when we look in the mirror.
It is also about understanding who we are, appreciating ourselves, and learning how to create a life that reflects the person we choose to become.
My personal experiences were part of that work.
I survived childhood sexual trauma. I understood what it meant to carry painful experiences, question my identity, struggle with relationships, and search for understanding.
And I understood that caring for my outward appearance could not replace the work I needed to do within myself.
Through my education, personal experiences, original formulations, work with clients, and the teachings I developed in The Well-Manicured Life, I recognized that the care of the mind, body, skin, sexuality, spirituality, and personal identity were connected parts of my work.
I wanted people to have healthier skin.
I wanted them to appreciate their beauty.
But I also wanted them to understand the experiences that were interfering with their happiness, relationships, self-love, and personal fulfillment.
I wanted a place where I could discuss my own experiences without judgment, exposure, or outside damage.
Where I could learn more about Rape Trauma Syndrome, emotional self-regulation, sexuality, spirituality, and personal identity.
Where the effects of childhood abuse, grooming, depression, anxiety, addiction, and other struggles could be discussed with understanding rather than automatic condemnation.
Where a person's professional success did not prevent their private struggles from being recognized.
And where no one had to publicly expose their entire personal life in order to begin learning.
I searched for the sanctuary I needed, and I couldn't find it. So I decided to create it.
That is how my skin-care work, professional education, personal experiences, and philosophy of The Well-Manicured Life became the foundation of Victorious Trainings.
Beauty From Ashes Esthetics began my work developing customized natural skin-care formulations.
The Well-Manicured Life expressed my philosophy of inner and outer beauty, Spiritual Manicure, improvement work, self-love, and purpose.
Today, that work operates through Victorious Esthetics and Victorious Trainings.
Victorious Esthetics continues my work in skin health, beauty, original formulations, and personal care.
Victorious Trainings brings together my educational courses, personal-development practices, and Paths of Victory.
Both are connected through the purpose I have spent years developing:
A Sanctuary of Healing & Beauty for Mind, Body and Soul.
TRANSMUTING THE ENERGY OF PAIN INTO PERSONAL POWER
In The Well-Manicured Life, I describe improvement work as something we continue practicing throughout our lives.
Happiness begins when you know who you are beyond the pain and confusion of the past, and walk boldly into your purpose, exuding resilience and grace!
In The Well-Manicured Life, I describe improvement work as something we continue practicing throughout our lives.
It involves examining ourselves, gaining knowledge, understanding our thoughts and decisions, learning from our experiences, and taking action toward our purpose.
We cannot change everything that has happened to us.
And survivors are never responsible for the sexual abuse or violations committed against them.
But as we gain knowledge and understand ourselves, we can begin changing the influence those experiences continue having over our lives.
This is what I mean by transmuting the energy of pain into personal power.
It means recognizing that the violator(s) do not deserve continued power over your sexual, spiritual, or personal identity.
It means learning to recognize the difference between who you are and the behaviors you developed while trying to survive.
It means developing self-love and emotional self-regulation.
Recognizing choices that no longer serve your purpose.
Taking responsibility for the decisions you make today.
And identifying the things you want your life to become.
Your past is part of your history, but your future belongs to you.
A Spiritual Manicure is a two hour healing process per which you metaphorically apply the steps of a regular polish spa manicure to help you clear your mind and spirit from the clutter that causes toxic behavior and attracts repeated undesired circumstances in our lives.
This process, expressed in The Well-Manicured Life, and coached through in our Self-Discovery and Purpose Identification Course, teaches how to analyze your thoughts and the meditations of your hearts to see how they affect our actions, words, and feelings, and interactions with others and the world in general so that you can improve by doing the work to change those toxic thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors to get the life we want.
The Spiritual Manicure will empower you to take any negative experience you've gone through in your life and transmute (or change) the direction, momentum, purpose, and affect in a way that propells you into the life you desire!
Undergoing and benefiting from a routine spiritual manicure will allow you to grow spiritually because you will learn to awaken and balance you physical energy with the spiritual energy allowing you to revive and reconnect to SPIRIT and discover Universal Laws and Truths and learn how Universe talks and guides you!
If you've ever wanted to find your way from the dark places of your life, mind, or even just stop relying on a preacher for your spiritual growth, the Spiritual Manicure will benefit you tremendously!
Once you begin understanding who you are and identifying your purpose, you can begin building the bridge that connects your present life to the life you desire.
I call the steps that make up this bridge your Bridge Planks to Success.
Every Bridge Plank represents something you choose to do that brings you closer to The Well-Manicured Life you want to create.
That is the purpose of your Bridge Planks.
They are not simply activities to keep you busy.
They are choices you make because they support the person you are becoming and the life you want to live.
For one Victorious Trainee, a Bridge Plank may be learning to self-regulate during emotional distress.
For another, it may be practicing self-love, caring for their skin, or developing healthier personal boundaries.
Someone else may choose to improve a relationship, reconnect with their spirituality, understand their sexuality, or discover a personal talent they have neglected.
And for a trainee whose purpose involves entrepreneurship or authorship, a Bridge Plank may be developing a business, writing a book, or learning the skills needed to pursue those goals.
Your Bridge Planks are designed by you, according to your personal needs, desires, and purpose.
One person may need several Bridge Planks before reaching a particular goal.
Another may already have many in place and need to recognize what is missing.
And as your life changes, you can continue adding the Bridge Planks that support the life you choose.
You do not have to build your entire bridge in one day.
But each intentional step can bring you closer to The Well-Manicured Life of peace, happiness, love, and success, you design!
CHOOSE YOUR FIRST PATH TO VICTORY
You've learned about Rape Trauma Syndrome and the ways sexual trauma can affect the mind, body, emotions, behaviors, relationships, sexuality, and personal identity.
You've learned why childhood sexual abuse and grooming may continue influencing adult life.
Perhaps you want to learn more about Rape Trauma Syndrome, the body's responses to sexual assault, or the emotional and behavioral patterns that have influenced your life.
Perhaps you are ready to learn more about who you are beneath the experiences you've survived.
Perhaps you want to focus on creating more happiness, peace, love, and personal fulfillment in your life.
You've learned about Rape Trauma Syndrome and the ways sexual trauma can affect the mind, body, emotions, behaviors, relationships, sexuality, and personal identity.
You've learned why childhood sexual abuse and grooming may continue influencing adult life.
You've learned why private struggles deserve attention before they create additional damage.
And you've discovered the different Trainings available within our Sanctuary of Healing & Beauty for Mind, Body and Soul.
Now it's time for you to decide where you want to begin.
You don't have to choose every Training.
You don't have to build your entire bridge today.
And you don't have to follow the same Path to Victory as anyone else.
Your first Bridge Plank is your choice.
Perhaps you want to learn more about Rape Trauma Syndrome, the body's responses to sexual assault, or the emotional and behavioral patterns that have influenced your life.
You may want to understand how your childhood experiences affected your thoughts, feelings, relationships, or personal decisions.
Through this Path to Victory, you can continue learning about RTS, emotional self-regulation, self-love, and the practices available through HOYO — Heal On Your Own and the Life Affirmation Kit & Course.
Perhaps you are ready to learn more about who you are beneath the experiences you've survived.
You may have recognized the influence of grooming, unhealthy relationships, or beliefs that no longer reflect your personal values.
Through this Path to Victory, you can begin exploring Personal Discovery and Personal Identification through Spiritual Manicure, along with sexuality, spirituality, boundaries, and personal empowerment through Sexual Healing.
Perhaps you want to focus on creating more happiness, peace, love, and personal fulfillment in your life.
You may want to develop daily practices that support self-love, gratitude, emotional balance, and the pursuit of your purpose.
Through this Path to Victory, you can explore Life Affirmation, Happiness Exposed, Fine-Tune Your Frequency: 30 Days of Gratitude Mental Detox, and Spiritual Manicure.
As you begin identifying your purpose, you can also explore the Bridge Planks available through Victorious Entrepreneurial Trainings and Victorious Authors' Academy.
You have a history.
You have experiences.
You have knowledge to gain, choices to make, and a purpose to discover.
But you are more than the experiences you've survived.
You deserve the opportunity to learn how to care for your mind, body, skin, sexuality, and spirituality.
To develop self-love.
To understand yourself.
To reclaim your personal identity and power.
And to create the life you want, one Bridge Plank at a time.
Welcome to Victorious Trainings.
Victorious Together!